Transformation

It's been a while since I've posted anything on this blog, but from time to time I go back and read some of the entries and comments. About two years ago, Martilou posted on "Moral transformation vs spiritual transformation." I'm still interested in looking at the nature of morality and at the history of religious traditions, but right now I'm thinking that this would be a good time to delve into the transformation phenomenon.

How do we change? I mean assuming you want to change. Assuming you've gotten to a point in your life where you realize you don't want to be this way. You want to act differently. You want to be a different person. And I think that's one way to look at the distinction Martilou was trying make in her post: the difference between trying to act differently and trying to be a person who acts differently.

If you're bottoming out, or at least you want this to be the bottom, the low point, and you know your life needs to be different, what do you do? Do you try to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, or do you attempt to give yourself over to some kind of higher power with the hopes that something "spiritual" will happen?

When I think of bootstrapping it, what comes to mind is Benjamin Franklin. There's a famous part in his autobiography where he talks about how, at the age of 20, he decided to make an attempt at moral improvement. He focused on developing 13 virtues:

1.Temperance: Eat not to Dullness. Drink not to Elevation.
2.Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling Conversation.
3.Order: Let all your Things have their Places. Let each Part of your Business have its Time.
4.Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5.Frugality: Make no Expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e. Waste nothing.
6.Industry: Lose no Time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary Actions.
7.Sincerity: Use no hurtful Deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8.Justice: Wrong none, by doing Injuries or omitting the Benefits that are your Duty.
9.Moderation: Avoid Extremes. Forbear resenting Injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10.Cleanliness: Tolerate no Uncleanness in Body, Clothes or Habitation.
11.Tranquility: Be not disturbed at Trifles, or at Accidents common or unavoidable.
12.Chastity: Rarely use Venery but for Health or Offspring; Never to Dullness, Weakness, or the Injury of your own or another's Peace or Reputation.
13.Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

What he did was he made a chart, with each virtue being a row and each day of the week being a column. At the end of every day, he would look at the chart and make a mark on the appropriate box if he transgressed the virtue. He claims in his autobiography that he slowly made progress, checking off fewer and fewer boxes every day. But over the years he used the chart less and less. Once a week, then once a month, then once a year as a sort of ritual to remind himself of what he wanted to accomplish.

Franklin claimed that the chart worked for him when he used it often, but he slid back into old habits, as we all do. In his old age he felt that he ended up only slightly better, slightly more virtuous than when he started. (Of course Franklin was a notorious drunk and whoremonger, but we shouldn't necessarily doubt the effectiveness of the chart because of that. I mean, he might have drank and visited prostitutes less often with the aid of his chart.)

Now when it comes to surrender, I think of my teens and early twenties, when I would periodically go through some spiritual crisis. A dark night of the soul. And I would "give myself to Jesus". Actually, the pastor at the church my wife and I attend recently gave a sermon that reminded me of those experiences. It was on Mathew 11:20and30.  "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." I knew exactly what the pastor was talking about. I've done that, found rest in yoking myself to Jesus. That's my experience with surrender.

And after the surrender comes the transformation. But it can't just be a one time surrender, a one time come-to-Jesus-breakdown at the end of a sermon. There has to be a consistent mental awareness, or at least a very periodic mental awareness, of what you want to happen. You want to let go of things. You want to let this larger power outside of yourself take things over. Take over the inside. That's how I remember it anyway. And I changed.

So I guess I'm just throwing this out there to see if anyone has any thoughts. For the atheist, bootstrapping is the most obvious route. But I'm wondering if there's still some option in the way of surrender.